I'm just an angry kid.

Hello my name is (                   ). I'm 19 years old and have been to hell and back. Well, I've been through more than what a normal 19 year old girl should have been through. Drugs, alcoholism, self mutilation, broken home, moving around a lot, abuse; more or less. Today, December 10, 2011 at 5:04pm I've finally come to the conclusion that I have an anger problem. Admitting it was something I couldn't do so easily. Not because admitting I have a problem is hard for me. It's not. I just couldn't quite get down to the bottom of my anger, and I still can't, but now I know I am full of it. Anger. Rage. I don't take it out on people. Well I try not to, though I tend to here lately, take it out on Alex. I don't mean to, and he's been helping me every bit of the way to emotional freedom and understanding. I owe that boy my life. Regardless, it normally takes quite a bit to upset me. I mean fully upset me, but once I am it's really hard to calm down if I'm not presented with a logical reason to. What makes that so hard is sometimes I don't always grasp things so comprehensively. Blame that on Schizophrenia. It's like there are 40, large, plasma screen televisions, with surround sound, all playing on different channels on, and you can't turn ANY of them off. Ever. You tell me if that would make trying to make a rational decision any hard. Now, not to get me confused with my mother. My mother has bi-polar disorder. I do not. She gets irrational EVERY TIME she gets upset, and takes it out on everyone. It takes her a lot to calm down. She jumps to conclusions, and makes the worst of assumptions. I...do not. There's no opportunity to explain with her. There is with me. But, to not drag this on longer than it should be--I have an anger problem, nonetheless. I've been battling with it just as long as I have been battling all of my other demons. Coming to the conclusion is strange, but it's just another bullet on my list of how much I'm struggling with humanity.