Can't you take a joke?

I have love, and I'm grateful, but his way of coping is my worst fucking nightmare. I hate it. I hate that in awkward situations he makes jokes and carries on with them even after it's not funny anymore. I hate that he becomes the bully when he's upset or uncomfortable-- making jokes and mimicking me when he knows I can't stand it. Sometimes it makes me feel like he's really not in love with me when he knows the mental trauma I've been through, and am still going through. I know he knows I get hurt by it sometimes. I know he knows I can't take a joke. I know he knows I can 't identify jokes or when people are joking. I didn't mean to be like this. I didn't choose it. I laugh at it sometimes, I'll admit. Sometimes he's funny, but sometimes I'm simply laughing to try not to seem upset. He knows that I am,  and that's what gets on my bloody nerve. If he knows I'm upset I wonder why he still decides to carry on with it. I start to get down on myself. Is he embarrassed to be with me? Are his "jokes" his way of making fun of me? What if our relationship is a joke? What if he's just in it to claim he's turned a lesbian "halfway" straight. I'm a living freak-show, and I know it. And, damn proud,.. but being mimicked by the one you love... I didn't think it'd ever happen to me. I didn't think I'd ever care about someone enough to even care about them making fun of me. It never even touched a nerve before. But, this.. This is Alexander. My love. My life. My world. And, HE'S the one making fun of me. HIM of all people. It's confusing. Alexander, to me, is quite the normal kind. A boy with a cholo-esque style, shaved head, tattoos in the right places for that sort, dressed in high collared, long sleeved plaid shirts and Dickie bottoms. And, me--well, I'm a bit far from different. I feel sometimes his joking around with me is what he really means to say or do, and when he sees me getting angry is when he states that it's a joke. It's always my fault that I'm reacting so violently or angrily to his "jokes". I'm a paranoid Schizophrenic. I don't really take too kindly to jokes. Not that I'm gullible. I just second guess myself and others a lot. I get paranoid and lose trust in everything and everyone. Even him, and he knows it. And, he even jokes about knowing it. Mimicking and repeating me whenever I tell him to knock it off. I don't want to fall out of love with him, but it's becoming annoying now. I love that boy, I do. I just can't stand this. I'm tired of hearing "can't you take a joke, Naughty?". I can't. I'm not saying he has to stop completely, because Alexander has his own dark/mean sense of humour that I can laugh at sometimes. He can be silly too, which I love. What girl doesn't love a man that can make her smile? Especially, me? I love anyone who can make me smile. It's a hard thing to accomplish. But, some jokes don't need to be dragged on. And, some things just aren't meant to be joked about. I tell him, and I try to tell him nicely. "Ok, babe. Stop.", "Ok, babe. Knock it off.", "Ok, babe. STOP IT PLEASE."...which leads to "Fucking stop it!"--which leads to us arguing and me having to repeat myself, which I hate. Some days I just wonder when I'm going to get tired of it.

Alexander, when I ask you to stop the first time and you see that I'm becoming uncomfortable or upset--shouldn't you stop? Am I wrong for that?

It might sound weird...

But, I happen to think Alexander tastes sweet. Whenever I kiss him--no matter what he's eaten--he tastes sweet. Or his skin. If I kiss his neck and lick my lips afterwards...he tastes sweet. He tastes of honey. I mean this in the most innocent of ways, but honestly--that boy doesn't seem like he could get anymore amazing. It might be love on my taste buds but, my my. :}