Your phone went off today. I understand you can't afford it right now. I'm not upset with you, but it's not even been a full day yet, and I'm already restless without you. I mean--without being able to contact you. I have no way to do so. I'm so worried. I'm so fucking restless. I miss you. I'm lonely...
I need you. Going the day without talking to you has been a struggle. I've had two panic attacks, and cried later on. I sat alone, and cried. I just sat there. The house was quiet. My mother was asleep, the house had been cleaned, my homework was finished, and I had already made food. I had nothing else to do, really. I couldn't sleep, because I'd wake up and realize you weren't there. I tried to keep busy all day, but the second I stopped it caught up, and I started to feel that ache in my chest for you again.
The same song has been on repeat all day. All fucking day. I know it word for word, and all of the melody. I can even sing it in a different language, but it doesn't really matter. I can't share my excitement of anything with you, or talk about my troubles. I can't tell you how much I miss and love you. I can't listen to your voice, or wake up to sweet good morning texts. And, most of all, I won't be able to know if you're alright. I won't know if you're in trouble, or if something bad has happened. I can't help you if need be, and it's killing me.
So, here I am right now...staring at my computer screen with a blank face, letting my fingers type away whilst the gentle melody of this song drags me deeper into the water of my emotions, and drowns me..
I am restless. And restless I shall be until I see you or hear from you again.
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